Coming Home

Dear Mom,

I don’t even know where to being. It has been very emotional these past few months without you in my life. I try to keep it to myself since it’s hard to open up to people that hasn’t gone through this pain. But I did share my emotions with my friend from the support group.

I’ve been trying to get copies of the death certificate for a long time now since I needed them to close your accounts and move it over to dad. The state has been taking forever to process the request since they’re understaffed and there’s too many deaths because of covid. I finally called in a major favor and they got me copies of your death certificates the next day.

All this time it was hard because I always wanted to bring you home as soon as I can but Rutgers said that it could take up to 3 years for them to teach your body before cremation. I feel sad that you have to be stuck in a cold freezer since I know you never liked the cold.

I “talk” to you every night. The “scientist” in me never really think that talking works and that it was more of a feeling that helps us process someone that passed. Last night I talked to you and said that I miss you a lot and wished that I could bring you home as soon as possible.

And in the morning I got this letter from Rutgers:

I think you heard my plea and I now truly believe that you can really hear me every night. I will always talk to you and tell you about my day.

I’m mailing the reply tomorrow and I can’t wait to bring you back home!

I love you Mom! I will always miss you!